I'm writing this blog post while telecommuting for work in my small little yinzer village. (Well, actually like 3 towns down from my little yinzer paradise. My hometown doesn't have a stop-light/library, let alone a Panera with free wifi.)
I have to do check-ins with my employees, and sometimes there is a really awkward time where I need to wait for them to do something. Or I just corrected something and am awaiting revisions. Do I sound as pretentious as humanly possible? I hope so.
I need to blog about my horrible road trip (boo) and my amazing 36 hours in Minneapolis, a la Kosice, (yay!). But, that is going to be for a different day.
Alas, I'm really going to Harvard, and my 15 month stint in Denver is completely done.
To celebrate, I decided to have a bar golf/scavenger hunt/make t-shirts.
First off, those bomb t-shirts? Yeah, I made those myself. (Jealous of my mad design skills?) With a groupon, Vistaprint, and 20 minutes of free-time I ordered/designed 12 shirts for less than 30 bucks. America, you rock.
With the Olympics and my overwhelming desire for clever references that no one undertands, I wanted to use the British "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster. I thought it was suited for drunken debauchery. And, below that phrase it said, "James will be at Harvard soon." That way strangers knew I was going to Harvard.
The reference is from an old British propaganda poster from 1939, during the blitzkreig from Hitler. This is pretentious, but I honestly assumed everyone had heard about it and knew the reference.
It wasn't until after I passed out the t-shirts that I realized my foray into pretentious douchebaggery. I explained the poster and everyone realized that I was going to Harvard and was amping up the nerd.
Our list (for a team):
Which means I did 9 shots of vodka in the space of 20 minutes.
Which means I danced intensely for the next 3 hours.
All in all, it was a pretty good night. Except KO cb'ed me like a mofo. Bitch.
I have to do check-ins with my employees, and sometimes there is a really awkward time where I need to wait for them to do something. Or I just corrected something and am awaiting revisions. Do I sound as pretentious as humanly possible? I hope so.
I need to blog about my horrible road trip (boo) and my amazing 36 hours in Minneapolis, a la Kosice, (yay!). But, that is going to be for a different day.
Alas, I'm really going to Harvard, and my 15 month stint in Denver is completely done.
To celebrate, I decided to have a bar golf/scavenger hunt/make t-shirts.
Most of my friends were able to make an appearance, which was really cool and I think that I had a super fun night. I don't remember that much of it.
First off, those bomb t-shirts? Yeah, I made those myself. (Jealous of my mad design skills?) With a groupon, Vistaprint, and 20 minutes of free-time I ordered/designed 12 shirts for less than 30 bucks. America, you rock.With the Olympics and my overwhelming desire for clever references that no one undertands, I wanted to use the British "Keep Calm and Carry On" poster. I thought it was suited for drunken debauchery. And, below that phrase it said, "James will be at Harvard soon." That way strangers knew I was going to Harvard.
The reference is from an old British propaganda poster from 1939, during the blitzkreig from Hitler. This is pretentious, but I honestly assumed everyone had heard about it and knew the reference.
It wasn't until after I passed out the t-shirts that I realized my foray into pretentious douchebaggery. I explained the poster and everyone realized that I was going to Harvard and was amping up the nerd.
If you have never heard of bar golf or bar scavenger hunts, they are super fun.
Bar golf; you go to various neighborhoods/locales and have to drink a certain number of drinks to make par/get a hole-in-one.
Our list (for a team):
Par: 3 Shots
Hole in One: 9 Shots w/ 1 Shot of Absinthe
Rios:
Par: 2 Margaritas
Hole in One: 3 Margaritas + 3 Shots of Tequila
Par: 2 Infused Vodka Drinks
Hole in One: 3 Vodka Drinks + A Shot for James
2 Up:
Par: 3 PBRs
Hole in One: 9 PBRS
Fun fact: The Polished Tavern, in a homage to their European roots, gives out shot cards to get people to come in. Which means that my friends no longer had to purchase shots and could just give them to me for free.
Which means I did 9 shots of vodka in the space of 20 minutes.
Which means I danced intensely for the next 3 hours.
In addition to bar golf, we also rocked out a scavenger hunt and people had to:
- Swap shirts with a stranger in public (no bathrooms allowed)
- +5 if both males
- +10 if one male/one female
- +20 if both female
- Make out with a stranger +10
- Get stranger to drunk dial home +10 points
- Business cards with hand-written cell numbers on the back +10
- Sexting with these people +20
- Inappropriate pictures from business cards + 100
- Serenade someone very loudly, very publically +5
- Call Me Maybe +15
- Any Spice Girls/DMX song +30
- 6 Different Beer Bottle Caps + 15
- 6 Person Human Pyramid (with 3 strangers) +50
- Teammate working behind the bar +40
- Pictures with a Drag Queen + 10
- Figure out James’ favorite shot (buy him his favorite, James initials)
- Slippery Nipple
- Red Headed Slut
- Blow Job
- Find a mullet +10
- Team Photo with 2 Strangers in Bathroom Stall +25
- Win a Dance Off +15
- Get Someone to Buy Entire Team a Round +50
Things that happened that night:
-serenades, swapped shirts, bathroom pictures, dance offs, making out with a stranger, and I apparently pantsed someone on their 21st birthday (both boxers and jeans in one swoop).
Don't try to take attention from me, I am dressed like this, damn it:
All in all, it was a pretty good night. Except KO cb'ed me like a mofo. Bitch.
haha i thought you said i would have been able to do this without drinking?
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